Thing One and Thing Two (and Three and Four)
by VeggieLoaf
Summary: Sequel to Double Vision. Tony and Bruce return from inter-dimensional travel, only to realize a critical error. Now with 200% more Asgardian!
1. Shut Down

**Sequel to Double Vision**

**I don't own the Avengers. I am not S.H.E.I.L.D. Sorry if that come as a surprise/disappointment.**

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"...And then our Bruce lost the fight. But it was still pretty cool. I forgive him, even if I think its only fair that he pays me back for the bet." Tony finished recounting their harrowing cross-dimensional journey with a flourish. Bruce watched the performance with a reserved passivity. He was glad they could keep the reason for his lapse of control private.

"Wait," Natasha started, sharing glances between the two scientists. "What exactly triggered Tall, Green, and Scary?"

Bruce glanced away. He felt suddenly as if everyone's eyes were on him. The Asgardians had claimed the couch in one of Tony's living rooms. Steve was on a stool behind the sofa. Clint and Natasha were planted by a card table with some game they had invented on a too-long mission laid out in front of them. Bruce was thankful that Fury wasn't there with that intimidating, one-eyed glare. He may have cracked under that kind of pressure. Instead, he managed to play it cool.

"It was a thing with some uh, universe stuff. And, yeah, you know." Even Tony raised an eyebrow at him.

Natasha opened her mouth to question this vaguest of explanations, but JARVIS cut in.

"Sir, there is a large amount of power being drawn to one of the labs."

Tony stepped to the nearest monitor – one was never far – and gave the screen a few knowing taps. "It's the one we were just in," he commented to Bruce. He turned to face his lab partner. "Did you turn off the portal machine?"

"What? You didn't deactivate it?" Bruce had a bad feeling.

"You were the last one out of the room."

"But it was more of your project than mine.

"Yeah but –"

Clint rose quickly and stepped between the bickering men. "Ladies," he droned. "Can one of you just go hit the off switch?"

Bruce and Tony exchanged a nervous look. "Could other us have another them?" Bruce asked.

"Almost definitely," Tony agreed.

"And if other them isn't our them –"

"They may react differently, yeah."

"So, who's in there?"

Clint gestured in circles. "Wait wait wait. What's happening now?"

"Well the us that came through the portal weren't really us. There were subtle differences," Bruce explained, trying to remain as ambiguous as possible.

"But," Tony continued, taking over, "it's more than likely that the other us has another you guys. And if the other us are like us – and we know they are – they'll tell you guys everything. The only thing we can't predict is how you will react. Well we know how _you_ you react, but them you is a wild card."

"That was the opposite of helpful," Natasha reported.

"I get it," offered a rising Steve. "You're saying that, on the other end of the portal, someone might have decided to come through."

"Look who knows science!" Tony chimed. "And yes, that's pretty much the problem. Maybe something evil's come through. We don't know. It might be dangerous."

"Can't you just send your little robo-pal JARVIS to pull the plug?"

"Do I have permission to eject Agent Barton from this room, sir?"

"Down, automaton. And sorry, Legolas. Not even my trusty mainframe can hit that manual switch. I mean, there's a chance that it's totally safe, but who's gonna risk that?"

Thor jumped up from the couch and grabbed Loki's wrists. "Brother! This is a perfect chance to prove yourself!"

Loki looked truly disgusted at the blond god's smile. "Thor, I hardly think –"

"You think plenty," Tony interrupted. "Thanks for volunteering. You are a brave soldier." He gave a mocking salute.

Thor pulled Loki to a standing position and shoved him away from the couch.

"Tony, if your number one concern is that evil might go through the portal, shouldn't we keep Loki away from it?" Steve inquired. "No offense," he added to the reluctant god.

"No, none taken. I assure you," he hissed. "And I agree, really. Who knows what I could do with that sort of power?"

"I have a great idea!" Thor exclaimed merrily. "I could accompany my brother while he turns off this machine."

Tony considered the situation briefly, imagining possible outcomes. "I'm okay with that. Dr. Banner?" Bruce nodded. "Great! So we let the Asgardians power down the portal device. Lemme just explain how it works.

Natasha leaned over to Steve. "Thor got confused by a universal remote," she said in a low voice while Tony explained the many buttons needed to shut down the portal device. "How is he going to know what Loki's doing to that machine?"

Steve thought carefully, nodding his head a little. He turned to face Natasha, and gave a quiet reply. "What's a universal remote?"

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**A/N~ Yo yo yo I'm back XD So welcome to Double Vision 2! I got to thinking, "I like this fic," and then I was all, "ANOTHER!" Can't wait to see what those crazy gods get up to. See y'all next update.**


	2. Trickery

**Welcome back, my children, to another exciting round! **

**I do not own any of these guys.**

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Thor followed his brother into the portal room smiling happily. Loki's volunteering put him in a good mood. Once they were standing next to the portal, he could see that Loki was smiling too. Well, smirking. It would have seemed evil if Thor hadn't known that Loki was a changed god.

"I am so glad that you wanted to help," Thor beamed.

Loki raised an eyebrow and bit back a sarcastic retort. "Yes. Brother dear, do you recall the instructions for this machine's proper and secure shut down? I would hate to cause a problem."

Thor opened his mouth, closed it, and furrowed his brow. "Well there was a pushed thing and a slid thing and a pulled thing. Does that help?"

The blithe smirk returned. "It is of tremendous value." Thor smiled again. "But, pray tell, what is that over there? It appears to be a Rykklog, does it not?"

"Where? You shall not poison our wine, foul creature!" Thor cried, whipping around. The lab was clear of venomous zebras. "Brother, I see nothing."

"It must be my eyes. Worry not," Loki said nodding.

Thor resigned himself to a relaxed smile. While Loki fiddled with controls, he wandered around the machine without a hope to understand any of it. And yet, he enjoyed this bonding time with his estranged adopted sibling. After the punishments he received in Asgard, Loki was sure to behave himself.

When Thor's walkabout came full circle, Loki was staring at numbers running across the machine's display. "What does this mean?" Thor asked.

"It is the machine's security wall. Because the activation codes were used so recently, they left digital ghosts."

"There are spirits in this device?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"I see," Thor mused. He didn't, but older brothers are meant to understand everything. He glanced around the display and noticed two illuminated tubes. They appeared empty, but upon closer examination, Thor could see a thin hair in each. One dark and one light.

"Brother," he commented. "What do these contain?"

The monitor had turned green and there was a steadily climbing number in the center. "That is our DNA, and it will open doors," Loki replied, backing away from the machine.

Thor saw suddenly what as happening. "Loki, no!" He cried, grabbing the trickster's arm and pulling him away sharply. The grin did not fade from the smaller god's face. "Stop this, now."

"I don't think so," Loki hissed.

Thor tossed Loki to a corner of the lab and shouted. "Stark!" The cry echoed in the small room.

In only seconds everyone had come rushing and the machine had started on a loud whir. "What happened?" Tony called over the racket. Everyone shared similar open-mouth stares.

"Loki has done something! He took my hair!"

The stares turned to bewilderment. It took a second for Tony to comprehend the bizarre remark. He skittered to the display where the numbers had just passed 80%. "He's using hair as DNA? That's not going to read right. It isn't enough genetic material to reach another portal! How did he even get your hair?"

"I believe he tricked me!"

"Well there's a surprise," Natasha drawled quietly.

"Tony, Bruce," Clint called, "can either of you shut it off?"

The scientists shared a worried look. Tony focused back on the display. "He must have locked it, used our own codes against us. I think we're too late anyway."

As he spoke the percentage count was completed and the air between the portal's spires was wrenched apart a slow rip pushing through empty space. The nothing separated to reveal something; another single-plane portal had opened and hung in the air, dark as a void. Bruce looked at his team mates, remembering the dizzying sensation the portal caused when he first saw it.

In a sudden flurry of movement, Loki sprinted from the corner he had been tossed to toward the portal. He had almost one foot in when Steve stepped forward and pulled him back.

"That's enough trouble for now," he muttered to the squirming god.

Once the whirring died, the room was heavy with silence. No one was sure what to say or if danger had been averted. They just watched the still portal like a vicious beast until the silence was broken.

"If the DNA wasn't sufficient," Dr. Banner proposed, "where does that lead to?"

"Nowhere, I guess," Tony shrugged.

"Well we should shut it down anyway. Just in case."

Tony nodded and started on controls. He was halfway to deactivation when the portal flexed.

"Tony," Bruce breathed, "what if another universe has higher capabilities and makes a bridge to here. Could they come across?"

"I don't know. They'd have to have similar DNA on both sides." Tony glanced at the two vials of hair.

"But it's possible?"

"I would say yes."

"Then we should hurry up on getting it shut down."

"Guys," Clint breathed. "Is that thing...moving?"

Tony and Bruce watched as the portal bulged out and two forms materialized from the darkness. They tumbled from the hanging tear to land well-grounded on the lab floor. One was smirking and one seemed dazed. The new smug god commented to the still-reeling other. "Oh come now, Thor. It's almost as if you've never traveled interdimensionally."

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**Cliffhanger! I must say that I am sorry to Thor for making him so dumb. I just like to think of him as the happy idiot.**

**See y'all next update.**


	3. The New Guys (Sorta)

**Wow, it's been a while, eh? Well, I'm back! Thanks to all who commented, favorited, and followed. You guys kept me working XD**

**In my two month absence, I failed to acquire ownership of any of the Avengers.**

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For a brief moment, everything was utterly silent. The Avengers team stared slack-jawed at the doppelgängers. The two gods standing in front of the device were exact copies of the two already in the lab. Well, there was one difference.

The Loki in Steve's arms gave an anguished cry. "You did this!" he shouted at Tony.

Stark held up his hands innocently, looking just as surprised as everyone else.

Loki looked defeated. "If you didn't do anything," he cried again, flailing against his restraints, "why am I a woman?!"

At this outburst, Tony couldn't hold back any longer. His laughter brought him to his knees. He was apparently trying to talk, but through the giggle-fit, few words were discernible; "girly," "so scary," "too perfect."

The black-haired and scowling woman in front of the device glared angrily at everyone in the lab. She was clearly Loki's twin. The annoyed frown alone was enough to prove that. They were even wearing the same clothing, though the Loki-Lady's fit her in much more flattering ways.

The other Thor, however, seemed an exact copy. The two blonde gods approached each other warily, untrusting. When they reached arm length in distance, the newer Thor stuck out his hand. Instead of shaking it, the other put the back of his palm against its copy. They mimed wave motions up each other's arms, ending up in fists on their opposite's shoulder. From there, they pushed hard. Each was repelled a little away from the other. This distance was ended by a broad hug. Both Thors had great smiles plastered on their faces.

"Secret handshake?" Clint asked.

The newer Thor nodded emphatically. "I created it to share with my sister."

"And I to my brother," the original added. "But he said such things were for children."

"I was twelve," the other concluded. "Not even old enough to imbibe in the golden apples."

Both tricksters rolled their eyes. "Idiot," they both murmured.

"Steve," Bruce noted. "I think it's okay to let go now."

Indeed, as soon as the super-soldier relinquished his grip, Loki slumped forward, defeated.

"I just don't understand," the god muttered. "I simply tried to unlock another, flawless self." He gestured angrily at his female twin. "And instead I get a version that is marred by an inferior sex!"

Clint was grateful he was close enough to Natasha to catch her arm.

Unfortunately, the other Loki had no such restraint. Scowling she stepped toward her misogynistic twin. "Where I come from, men are considered far inferior to women," she hissed.

"That is untrue, sister," one of the Thors piped up.

The seething Loki gave him a deadly glare and continued. "Do you think I intended to be a man? You are clearly less fit and obviously ill-built."

"Ill-built?" the male Loki shouted back. "And what is not 'ill-built' about that clothing? It hangs too tightly!"

"And yet it is far better than the sack of unfashionable rags draped across yourself!

"These 'rags' were designed by the highest minds –"

While the Asgardian terrors made cheap shots that would make a teenage girl proud, the onlookers shuffled a little away.

"So what are we going with the two of them," Bruce asked.

"We should just send them home," Natasha put in.

Tony shook his head. "No good. The portal closed. I can get it open, but it's gonna take a while. I need to figure out which part of the genome was activated and connected to the other -"

Bruce cut in. "I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who's getting any of what you're saying.

"Right."

"Alright," Steve started. "But while you two are working on that, what do we do with the clones?"

"They're not clones," Bruce warned.

The new Thor spoke up. "If it would be acceptable, I wouldn't mind spending the time before going home with myself from your own universe."

"Erm, Tony, can I have a word?" Bruce requested. The two scientists stepped to the side to converse. "Is it stable?" Bruce asked.

"The monitor wasn't showing any problems. Since they're not from the same universe, there's no paradox problem."

"Okay, but what about, y'know, her? We can hardly handle having one super villain around. Could we take on another?"

"'Til we get the device fixed, I'm not sure we have a choice. How'd they even get here."

"Their us must have made a machine that could search the mulitverse foam for opening portals. That would be enough for dimension hopping."

They glanced at the two tricksters. They were still fighting, but the conflict seemed to have changed languages. The current argument was entirely incomprehensible.

Tony leaned in closely. "Just, ah...just don't tell Fury, okay?"

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**Anyways, my next update will be in four months. **

**Lawls, that would be mean.**

**And I'm not a mean guy.**

**So I'll see you soon.**

**Mwah.**


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